Are you on NextDoor? It’s basically another social media network for people living within your neighborhood to post topics of interest for residents. Think yard sales, missing pet posters, and porch pirates. It’s something I check periodically to keep up with the neighborhood. For example, is that loud boom I just heard REALLY fireworks? At 10:00 on a random June Monday night? ARE YOU SERIOUS? (The answer is always yes).

I will preface this post by saying that I personally haven’t seen any racist posts on my feed that bring out the worst of NextDoor. That’s not to say they don’t exist – I just haven’t seen them. I can’t say this has been true with other NextDoor communities I was a part of, even the feed from my old neighborhood in Austin. It’s refreshing that I haven’t seen any of those posts on my feed here. Good job, neighbors. While this is the bare minimum of human decency, I’ll file this as a win.

But the problem with this particular neighborhood is that people forget what the actual use of NextDoor is – to share relevant neighborhood news to its residents – and instead use it as another Facebook. I have seen so many meaningless posts that clog the feed and keep others from sharing actual news of interest. I understand that there’s an argument to be made about being “conversation starters” and fostering a sense of community online, but I cannot bring myself to give a shit about much of what is posted on NextDoor. This is coming from someone who used to make very detailed and meaningless Facebook status updates in her early 20s. I haven’t used Facebook in years, but there’s a whole slew of status updates hidden between 2010-2012 that consisted of my insomnia and Dr Pepper obsession. And let’s not even talk about my Twitter feed between 2009-2011.

So – I get it. I’ve been there. There’s the hope that you eventually outgrow the need to share every mundane aspect of your life with strangers, but some people never reach that point, and I happen to live in a neighborhood full of these people.

Honest-to-god posts I have seen on NextDoor include:

• A day in the life of a cat. This was somehow a multi-part series and concluded with how happy the cat was when the poster’s husband came home from work every day. The cat’s name is Akira and I am devastated that this information still resides in my brain. I have probably lost some core memory in the process. I’ll probably be on my deathbed fifty years from now and I won’t recognize the faces of my grandchildren, but I’ll remember the name of this fucking cat.
• Someone’s manatee mug she brought back from Florida. Cool.
• Photos of grandchildren. Why are you posting pictures of your grandchildren on a random feed open to a bunch of strangers? WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE NEIGHBORHOOD? Unless your grandchild stole my package or is shooting fireworks at 2 AM, I DON’T CARE.
• The first time someone tried a jalapeno. Good lord. Tell me you live in the Midwest without telling me you live in the Midwest. The resident proudly posted a photo of the jalapeno next to a giant block of cream cheese and stated that it was a vegan meal. Someone in the comments noted that vegans don’t eat cheese. I cackled.
• There is one particular person who posts the most random shit – my guess is that she’s very lonely, and while I feel sad for her, SHE MUST BE STOPPED. Posts from her include staying up on a Friday to organize some files, being excited about a sale for a pool, and that her flight to Jamaica got rescheduled. Okay, no. Please. Just put the phone down, go outside, and touch some grass.

Yesterday I made a post in NextDoor about Mittens and Moon Pie. I stated that they are between 2.5-3 months old, that their mama is feral, and that we really want to find them homes but are unable to provide them one with our dog. I noted that we have been playing with the kittens and sitting beside them while they eat to socialize them. I wrote that all the shelters in the area are full and asked whether there were other shelters I could take them to. I concluded my post by saying that we were planning on spaying their mama.

Responses included:

• Someone who clearly stopped reading my post after seeing the word “feral,” telling me to socialize the kittens and to get the mama spayed. It was really hard not to respond to that post without “per my previous email” energy, and I don’t think I was successful.
• People complaining about the Humane Society. That honestly bummed me out. I didn’t make my post for people to trash the Humane Society. This town lacks resources in general, so it’s not a surprise that the Humane Society is overcrowded and doesn’t have many resources. I think they’re doing the best they can and they are doing really important work. Multiple people noted they were never able to get a hold of anyone there. I was able to talk to someone at the Humane Society on the phone the first time I called them, and she was very nice.
• Only one person responded with actual helpful information. He gave me the name of another shelter (which, unfortunately, is also full). He also offered to be a resource if we decide to foster the kittens ourselves. Thank you, resident, for actually reading my post.

Who knows, maybe I would have gotten more of a response if I had posted about my organizational filing habits first. That post somehow had 12 comments – WHY and HOW?

Are you on NextDoor? Do the residents actually post relevant information, or are you now stuck with the knowledge of what their cats do everyday, too?