Hi all!

So I have pretty big news to share and this is going to be a long post. I’ve been sitting on this news for about a month now, but it didn’t become official until last week.

We’re moving!

Back.

to.

Austin.

In like…two months or less.

I have 80 potential homes saved on my Zillow account and it still doesn’t still feel real yet. I’ll admit now that when I wrote my last post, I already knew that there was a really good chance that I would be returning, but I was too afraid to believe it was real. (And when I said I was “waiting on something” at the end of the post…there you go.) And now it is.

Ultimately, there were multiple factors that led to our decision to move. On my end- I struggled with working from home, especially during winter. I am so grateful I had the opportunity to work from home, don’t get me wrong – it’s a huge privilege not afforded to everyone. I’m so happy I could keep my job, especially since there aren’t any opportunities for the kind of work I do out here. But, both things can be true. As lucky as I was to work remotely, I felt like my life became that much smaller – especially when you live in a town where everything closes at 8 or 9 and there are limited cultural and entertainment opportunities (unless you want to drive to Indianapolis or Bloomington every weekend, and each are over an hour away). And winter really did me in. I mean – you all. I grew up in South Texas, where there is consistent sunshine. There was no hope for me. It honestly wasn’t the snow so much, since it didn’t snow a ton (luckily)- it was the GRAY. Six months of consistent gloomy weather does NOT SPARK JOY. Texas winter still bums me out, but it’s really only January and February – then March gets sunny again, and the bluebonnets start emerging (I get to see bluebonnets again!!!!)

I tried really, really, REALLY hard to make this place home. I was determined to ignore the naysayers who told us “Congratulations…?” when we first announced we were moving here (note: these naysayers were current residents, so…maybe I should have listened). The best advice I read about moving to this town is you have to interact with it. I can safely say that I interacted THE SHIT out of this place.

And when we first moved here in 2021, I was elated. We’d been living in that tiny rural suburb outside of Indy for the past two years, which was completely isolating during the pandemic. I loved and still love our home. We could get Door Dash again. There were multiple coffee shops and I loved walking Apollo in our older neighborhood. The sound of the train every night was soothing.

But soon I understood what everyone had warned us about. There were limited opportunities in general. I remember a series of weekends in Winter 2022 that made me less enamored with this place. It was so gloomy outside – the town already has an industrial feel, so it was hard to appreciate any winter beauty with it. We had a series of really weird dine-in experiences. In a larger city, it doesn’t matter if you have a bad experience with a restaurant – there are tons of other options to explore. But in a town where most of the restaurants consist of fast food or chains, local options are already limited. I was also training for a half-marathon that winter – I was so excited to join the running group, because running on Town Lake in Austin is really what made the city feel like home after an initial rough transition. But instead, we ran on county roads here – for miles. And miles. Not only is it unsafe, but it’s incredibly monotonous. I was so disappointed with the experience.

Husband and I both knew we weren’t going to retire here, but I had honestly let go of the idea of ever returning to Austin. Even when we were in Texas this summer, I told a family member that we weren’t coming back to Austin, as much as I wanted to. I just didn’t think it would happen with how competitive Husband’s field is. And then – an opportunity popped up with cosmic timing. So – I’ll say here that I’m an atheist (I don’t have an issue with religion as long as people don’t try to convert me or use it to infringe on other’s rights – I’ve just been there/done that and it’s not for me). I believe that life is completely random and there is no higher power controlling the events in my life, which means that there is no bigger reason for both the wonderful and very shitty experiences I’ve had. BUT the timing of this opportunity was so serendipitious that if it weren’t for my own personal beliefs, I could easily imagine some higher power being like, “This woman still can’t shut the fuck up about her homesickness and it’s been four years? How many times can she visit Town Lake and burst into tears? MAKE IT STOP. PUT HER OUT OF HER MISERY. FOR THE LOVE OF ME.”

And it’s not like I had to get back to Austin. I could easily see myself living somewhere else (have you HEARD my Ted Talk on Denver? I’d still happily leave Austin behind to live in Denver). I was really starting to fall in love with Indianapolis before the pandemic hit. We were still living in that tiny rural suburb then, when Husband had to commute nearly an hour each way to work. I remember seeing the skyline and feeling excitement as I drove in to downtown every day. If we lived there or Bloomington, I still would have had struggled with winter, but I don’t think my life would have felt so constrained as it does working from home in a smaller town. I could easily see myself making one of those places home. But when you live in a town where options are limited and where you don’t feel inspired, it’s hard to feel motivation about much else. It’s completely draining.

It’s weird to think of a parallel life if the pandemic hadn’t hit. Or if I was able to make this place work. Husband and I were about to start a music project with a friend. One of my friends is pregnant, and I’m really bummed I won’t be here when she has her baby early next year. Those are chapters of my life that are closing now.

And ultimately, that’s what made this place work – the community. We moved here to find community, and we were successful. We met some wonderful people who will be hard to leave behind. The music community here has been wonderful – I’ve been able to play in two orchestras and played violin for a podcast! Having my yoga studio to go to every weekday morning helped me retain my sanity. I will always be grateful for this community and their kindness. And because of the low cost of living, we’ve been able to own a beautiful home and I’ve been able to afford some wonderful travel adventures.

And let’s not even talk about my feral babies – I am heartbroken that I’m leaving and they won’t understand what’s going. I just hope whoever moves into this house is kind to them and continues feeding them.

I’ll never regret our move up here, as difficult as it was at times. I really needed to leave Texas – both for new experiences and to get some clarity on personal issues in my life. I’m not returning the same person that I was, and that’s a GOOD thing. And I don’t want to return to our same old life, not after everything I’ve experienced here. The city has changed, even in the past 4 years, and I have too. Even if we’re going back home, it’s still going to be a new beginning. I don’t want to return to my Austin 2019 life or my 2019 self.

So now we have to plan a move again. I want to stay in Austin for the long haul this time. I’m really hoping we can get there before October. My brother and I have four years’ worth of shows to catch up on, and the Foo Fighters and Bully may or may not be playing in ATX in October and I really need to be moved in before those shows.

It really hasn’t sunk in yet, so I’ll keep saying it until it does – I’m going home.