To tell this story, you first should know that we were feeding up to six cats in our backyard. Not all of the six factor into this story, but they each deserve a quick mention. They are:

Jiji – One of the cats from last year’s original quartet of kittens. Jiji is so gentle with the other cats and my favorite from last year’s litter. He is very skittish, but one time started following us (from a safe distance) on one of our walks when we called to him. He loves treats, and once playfully swatted one from my hand. I do think he has a chance to be domesticated, but I just don’t think we can do it in the time we have. This is a huge regret. We have learned so much since last year and there are so many things I’d do differently with him now. He doesn’t stop by every day, so my hope is he has another person who feeds him and loves him as much as I do.

Goose – Goose is Jiji’s sister and mama of Mittens and Moon Pie. She used to stop by everyday to get fed before choosing our deck as the kittens’ home. Again, I’d do so many things differently now. She was extremely protective of the kittens, and hissing at me became a daily occurrence. On Friday, she stopped by and started hissing as I approached with food. I thought she was being protective of Moon Pie; then I realized she was hissing at Moon Pie, and she started getting really aggressive and territorial with him. It was hard to watch, and I gave Moon Pie a separate pile of food with tears streaming down my face. I just couldn’t understand how she could have been so protective weeks before but was now attacking her own baby. Nature is cruel. This is what happens when you try to humanize a wild animal’s behavior. I’m not mad, Goosie, just so disappointed.

Kit – the neighborhood tomcat who loves sleeping on our deck. Supposedly fixed, but I don’t know. Both Mittens and Kiki, one of the kittens from the original kitten quartet, look exactly like him. Life finds a way, I guess. I try not to think about the family tree too much, because then it starts resembling ancient Egyptian royalty or the Habsburgs and I don’t like it.

Mittens and Moon Pie – Goose’s perfect little babies, both of whom are currently in our home. Moon Pie is in the acclimitization tent and is most unhappy about it. Mittens graduated to the spare bedroom, which has a couch in it, which was a MISTAKE. Yesterday I learned that cats can hide INSIDE COUCHES. THIS WAS HORRIFYING INFORMATION TO LEARN AND ME AND MY ANXIETY DO NOT ENJOY SEEING THE KITTEN CRAWL INTO THE COUCH.

Shadow – Shadow roams outdoors but has a home (one of the times NextDoor actually came in handy). He looks a lot like Jiji, except much chunkier.

Shadow is a sweet cat and meows incessantly. He has an underbite and always tries to slip into the house. I used to love when Shadow stopped by for a feeding, because it was refreshing to be APPRECIATED and WANTED after feeding cats that either ran under the deck when they saw me, hissed, or both. But I soon realized, with horror, that Shadow is extremely territorial. I watched him chase off Jiji once. One time, he started staring at Moon Pie, made weird little moans, and lunged at Moon Pie. A cacophony of meows and hisses emerged from the tussle, and I shouted as Moon Pie dove under the deck. I watched with horror as Shadow trotted up to me, fur from Moon Pie in his mouth.

I started keeping an eye on the kittens whenever Shadow would show up. Shadow started showing up a lot last Wednesday (one of the reasons we brought Mittens inside that evening). I was working and from my office would see him staring aggressively at Mittens. Wanting to protect Mittens, I went outside to shoo him away. This is not in my personality at all, and he was very confused by it since I had always been so loving to him. All of these vibes:

I went back to work feeling SO SAD, until I looked outside.

Shadow.

I went out and we had a talk about not being mean to the babies, and I pet him and he meowed and meowed and meowed.

But he kept coming back. Not having the heart to shoo him away again, I picked him up to carry him outside the gate. Shadow made many deflated meows when I plopped him in the grass. He later fell asleep in the front yard, dejected.

On Saturday morning, I went outside with food and treats. Both Jiji and Moon Pie were outside. I wanted to work with Moon Pie so I could bring him inside. Like I said, Jiji loves treats but doesn’t get too close, so I tossed him treats as I tried to lure Moon Pie closer to me. Everything was going well until both Jiji and Moon Pie bolted. “Guys, what’s going on?” I asked.

As if on cue, I heard a very plaintive “MEOWWWWWW” about two inches behind me. I shot up, startled. “Shadow!” I exclaimed. “I’m sorry, no. I’m trying to work with Moon Pie.” I picked him up, carried him outside the gate, and plopped him on the sidewalk.

I went sat back down in my yard, and started tossing treats at Jiji and Moon Pie. After a couple of minutes, they both dove under the deck.

I looked to my left. Shadow was standing there.

I carried him back outside the gate, and this time left some treats with him.

Minutes later, he was back.

I gave up.