Hello friends! I hope you are well and had a good 4th. We spent our 4th mostly relaxing at home before taking Apollo on a short little stroll next to some wetlands. The weather was surprisingly warm for an Indiana summer evening, and we were enjoying ourselves until I saw a tick on my leg. I’m a strong, independent woman who years ago swiftly and successfully removed a tick embedding itself on my back. But I’m also the same woman who wailed, “CAN YOU GET IT OFF OF ME?” to my husband after unsuccessfully trying to swat it off of me. We decided that the tick was our trail guide telling us to head back to our car, and not to wear Apollo out in the heat (this is the same dog who jumped into the laundry basket to wake me up this morning, so while he’s already eleven, don’t think he’s slowing down too much).

I celebrated my birthday on the 5th – last year of my 30s! Culturally, you grow up hearing how 40 is OVER THE HILL and OLD, but now that I’m a year away from it, I see how silly that is. I feel great. How is this supposed to be “old?” Maybe in 1839 or whatever when the life expectancy was in the 30s or 40s, but not now. Yeah, I have issues with my back, but it’s been a consistent disappointment since I was a teenager, so that’s not anything new. I’d rather have the life experiences and confidence I have now after 39 years on this earth, rather than being 22 and not knowing what the fuck I was doing with my life.

We’ve been keeping busy. Summer is traditionally the busiest time of year at work, since our state client’s fiscal year ends on August 31. Every year, the phrase “August 31” quickens my heart rate (it’s happening now even as I type). There’s still so much to do before the end of next month (end of next month?! EEEEEEE). It’s the time of year where I have to do a little catch-up work on weekends, but that’s okay. Summer is typically “my season” – I thrive with the long days and sunshine (emphasis on “sunshine”), and tend to overcommit myself because I feel really driven. I’m trying to ride that wave before the SAD hits in winter (in Texas, that’d be only January/February, but up here, it’s consistently gray between November and April – ERGGGGGHHHH).

Speaking of Texas – I’ve been fortunate to have visited twice this year! I was there in May for a conference in Austin and June with Husband to see our families/friends. For my trip in May, my conference was only a couple of days and there were some unknowns with my schedule – knowing I’d be back soon with Husband, I decided to stay downtown and just focus my energy on the conference instead of trying to see everyone. I think it was a good choice. I stayed on South Congress, which was so much fun. I took a little Austin nostalgia tour on one of my breaks, walking along Town Lake and reminiscing over the “old” Austin. The Hooters that my project manager took our mainly all-male team years back (because she thought it would be funny*) is now a condo. That’s a pretty safe explanation to use for much of downtown Austin – “(Insert landmark here) is now a condo.”

So much of it has changed, and yet it’s still so hard not to feel like it’s home, even 4 years later. I feel joy every time I land there and mourn everytime I leave. Staying in hotels there always feels so fucking weird. I don’t know if that will ever change. Maybe if I lived in a place that I love, I wouldn’t grieve this place so much, but that’s just not my reality right now. I just try to remind myself how lucky I was to have lived there for so long.

Well, I need to get up and do some work. There are some things I’m waiting to hear back on, and because I’m SO PATIENT (heavy sarcasm), then staying busy is the best way to make the time go by faster. I hope you all have a great weekend!

*Insert “it was a different time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” here.